Tag Archives: Change

STOP Waiting for New Years Eve!

Empowerment Coach, Speaker, Author, Fear Less, Live More

FACT – Tomorrow is the youngest you will ever be

FACT – Tomorrow is the youngest you will ever be but it’s also the first day of the rest of your life!

YOUR LIFE! 

Life itself is the singular thing we all have in common. However having said that there are only actually two things which for sure will happen to us all.

We will be born. We will die.

Stark but nevertheless completely true.

Equally true is the fact that many of us do actually treat the experience that is life as something that just happens to us. We all too easily lose sight of the fact that it is actually a journey. Each day, for each of us is completely unique and thus our journey in turn becomes as individual as we are and in all honesty most of us never even consider that it is our choices along the way which make it so.

New Year is largely the time we actively upon the previous 365 days or so and vow to do things differently, better or not at all. It’s also the time when we invariably blame work, stress, the actions of others, lack of time, money or both as an excuse for anything which we determine as having been a mistake, failure or lack of opportunity etc.

By making our New Year ‘resolutions’ we acknowledge the need for change yet many of us steadfastly refuse to own our journey of the previous year by taking responsibility for the part we played in the areas we ourselves deemed worthy of change and rarely ever consider the fact that just one simple act could have provided us with the result…a different, better result…that yet again we are setting our sights on achieving in the coming year.

But why are we waiting? In doing so we are wasting time, our oh so valuable time – which once spent can NEVER be regained?

It doesn’t have to be like that because the amazing thing is, we all of us have the power of CHOICE!

It is after all the most basic of our rights as humans. We can if we so choose be compliant and ‘allow’ life to happen to us or we can become proactive and choose to be the architect of our own journey and subsequently our destiny.

I would urge that you give some thought to the gift which is your life and the like of which you will not receive again. As you go through your day today, tomorrow, the next day pay attention, be mindful if you will as to the number of choices you will actually get to make during it’s course. In addition to the those you would make automatically – what to eat, wear, do etc, concentrate on each moment as it occurs and realise that everything in life is indeed a choice.

Positivity. Negativity. Gratitude. Happiness. Anger. Guilt…all of it

Choices which in turn have the power to alter your life for the better or worse. Any given point on your journey through life is in direct correlation to your words, actions and attitude. Moreover it is you alone who are responsible for both them and the results they bring to bear EVERY DAY not just at New Year.

For instance there are those among us who will say ‘Oh no it’s not  my fault because…’ and try to shift the blame onto someone or something else thus absolving themselves of the responsibility. Now although this could be very true the key here is that others are the ones who have to take responsibility for their actions. You on the other hand must take responsibility for your reaction to the situation/ feeling they created. You have the power to allow or disallow how anything impacts upon you including the decisions about your life which you may or indeed may not make (which incidentally is indeed a decision in & of itself!).

You can choose and it is this choice alone which will dictate whether you are compliant in or the author of your life’s story as it unfolds!

YOUR FUTURE!

So having urged you to be mindful as you go about your day tomorrow, next week & in the coming year I ask you to consider the possibility that up until now you have inadvertently become compliant in allowing your life to just happen to you.

As we move into 2017 keep in mind that although January 1st is indeed the first day of the year, it’s also the first day of the rest of your life, as is the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on. By all means mark New Year by resolving to do things differently if you feel the need, but if you are someone who is set to mark December 31st by stringing together a list of resolutions or promises to yourself that things will change and next year will be different, remember that you do not and never have had to wait to make the choice to change either you or your life for the better.

You will never be younger than you are on any given day so stop allowing our old friend procrastination to steal not only time but your dreams & goals. Make daily choices which will better enable you to live the life you wish to lead.

A life that you can live with passion and purpose, on your own terms, in your own way without ever having to apologize, explain, excuse or justify yourself OR that you have to use the acceptable time stamp of a New Years Eve as a smokescreen for doing so ever again.

So here’s wishing You EVERYTHING you wish yourself & more for 2017 & beyond BUT don’t make the mistake of putting off until New Year what you CAN DO TODAY – Remember procrastination may well be the thief of time BUT he always very generously leaves a calling card by way of thanks – the gift of REGRET!

As Walt Disney famously said – If you want something enough you will find a way to make it happen. If you don’t? You’ll make excuses!

Ten years from now I can promise you this you may regret some things you did do BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS regret those that you didn’t!

Why not make a decision TODAY that whatever it is that is preventing you from living the reality of your dreams you’ll face it head on and begin to Fear LESS & LIVE More?

Namaste – Sue

Sue Curr is an Empowerment Coach, Speaker & Author who enables others to  Fear LESS & LIVE More Bespoke Program . If you or someone you know would benefit from addressing & dis-empowering the effect FEAR has on your life you can connect with Sue at suecurr,com or email her directly at suecurr@suecurr.com

Let It Go and We’re Not Talking Disney Here

Let It Go POST
In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past but you will find yourself
Deepak Chopra

One of the most difficult skill sets we ever have cause to learn is the art of letting things go

Now, that can be letting go of; old habits, obsessive thought patterns, the need to understand something, toxic relationships, guilt, anger in fact pretty much anything which can hold us back or cause undue worry, stress or upset in life.

As we become older and hopefully wiser we gradually come to understand that EVERY situation and/or emotion we face throughout our lives is only EVER temporary. Yet the compelling need to hang onto that which no longer serves us in anyway, rather than diminishing with age often grows ever stronger as we face the uncertainty of what will happen to us or because of us if we dare to do the unthinkable and just LET THINGS GO!

The safety net of the familiar, albeit something which habitually causes us angst and upset perversely becomes somewhat of a comfort blanket as we rail against our own self doubt questioning whether or not IF it would be the right thing to do and this in addition to the negative input from those around us – even loved ones – who would have us stay ”stuck at a point” simply because it serves their own ends for us to do so. Other people will often attempt to manipulate us into ”leaving things be” sometimes not even fully aware themselves that this is what they’re doing and yet at other times they blatantly attempt to browbeat us into submission employing tactics such as name calling, veiled threats, emotional blackmail, put downs, outright insults and so the list goes on.

However when others do try and bring their influence to bear over our intent to ”let something go” and DESPITE their assurances that ”it’s for your own good” or ”for the best” etc they are almost without exception trying to do nothing more or less than to control that which is NOT theirs to control.

YOUR LIFE! YOUR FUTURE!

It’s important to realise through all this that our own self doubt is in itself enough to prevent us from moving forward if we choose to allow it to but at least that would be OUR CHOICE.

For me the biggest shift happened when it came to ultimately deciding to let go of something which had paralyzed me emotionally for years. It was a slow but sure awakening to the absolute FACT that in doing so not only would it be a freeing experience BUT it would in no way be a betrayal of someone or even a denial about a given situation. Rather the exact opposite because by acknowledging AND taking responsibility for it I came to understand the simple truth that what had been, had happened and on occasion was still happening just didn’t have a place in my life anymore. The toll on my health had been immeasurable and furthermore I suddenly knew without doubt that I was no longer willing to carry the burden of (in my case) the limitations of the learned behaviour patterns which had chained me so very firmly both in the past and within my own mind set.

By definition the act or indeed the art of ”letting things go” is synonymous with change and this I’m sure is the major obstacle for most of us as we struggle to detach ourselves from that which is holding us back in some way.

At times in many ways.

The thing is change can be good, it can be bad and it can most certainly be a painful experience as we transition from one phase to another. However when we weigh up the pros and cons we start to realise that any pain or anguish which transpires on the back of letting go pales drastically when compared to that felt by someone (as was I)  who is stuck in a scenario they are unwilling or unable to remove themselves from and as a result of which they are unable to learn, grow and move forward. In effect that someone becomes responsible for disabling their own future as our old friend procrastination happily throws up a myriad reasons why things are best left unsaid or undone so almost subconsciously things are left unchanged because after all….”better the devil you know eh”?

Once the decision has been made to ”Let It Go” and the gamut of manipulation and emotional blackmail has been run it becomes evermore obvious to us that where we had previously thought that by holding on we were being strong, in actual fact ”letting go” takes an act of even greater strength. So as we commence our journey along our chosen path to a healthier future then, we can begin to see that the act of cutting ourselves loose from our hurt, sorrows, negativity, toxic people or situations…….BY LETTING GO.……we can and will embrace the here, the now, this moment and very definitely our future with a renewed sense of enthusiasm and hope because  we can now say with certainty that there is a world of difference between the choices of ‘‘giving up” and ”letting go”.

I can only speak for myself when I say this but having taken a long, long time to understand that when someone or something no longer has a place in my life (regardless of the reason) then I can not only choose to  let it or them go BUT I can do so safe in the knowledge that I do not have to explain, apologise OR justify either myself or my decision to anyone else.

It takes an inordinate amount of courage to ”Let Go” of the old or familiar, especially when the resulting change  has the potential to cause  you even more distress in the short term at least than that which you have liberated your mind from but the benefits to us as individuals is immense. Again speaking personally, on the back of actively choosing to ”Let Go” (especially of situations over which I had absolutely no control) I saw in me a hitherto unknown personae evolve…..granted one which I very firmly consider to be still a work in progress……I became a stronger more assertive person, one who whilst still always attempting to be fair to others would nevertheless hold firmly onto my principles. I became someone who was (to quote the blessed song..) ”For The First Time In Forever” comfortable in her own skin, someone who came to understand that;

To let go of something means simply that we can move on.

Whereas to hold onto something means that we are always looking back. Accepting that the art of ”Letting Go” will produce change in our lives is a massive ask of anyone but when we couple this with the fact that ”Letting Go” does not mean forgetting rather it means that we have learned something, be it about ourselves or something else then the positives we can take from this are beneficial on levels we hadn’t previously considered because we ARE FINALLY SECURE in the knowledge that;

Regardless of what others may or may not think about our choices in life we are GOOD enough, we are ABLE enough, we are SMART enough, we are STRONG enough to make make those same choices for ourselves WITHOUT the need for validation from others. They will no doubt continue at times to attempt to derail the progress which we have chosen to make BUT if we keep steadfast in our decision and don’t acknowledge their behaviour then we can continue to keep moving forward with OUR LIVES because we suddenly know with absolute clarity that whatever another says or does in their efforts at sabotaging your future happiness it is ALWAYS, ALWAYS a reflection on THEM not us!

Going forward then ALWAYS REMEMBER that;

YOU are the only person who you are responsible for and to, whatever you do or say along your journey in this life YOUR LIFE somebody somewhere along the way is going to be upset and/or disappointed in you BUT THAT’S OK as long as you are secure in your decisions, your actions and more importantly YOURSELF that’s all that really matters at the end of the day.

I’ve come to know with absolute certainty that LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be constantly at war with yourself OR others. Pick your battles. Be kind to yourself and others by making the practices of ACCEPTANCE & FORGIVENESS part of your daily routine LETTING GO of the trials and tribulations of yesterday is the first step towards a brighter more positive future.

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. A NEW BEGINNING. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. EMBRACE IT AND STEP FORWARD INTO THE FUTURE

YOUR FUTURE!