Tag Archives: comfortable in my own skin

Get Out of Your Own Way

chess-316658_1280 Let’s get one thing straight.

There isn’t anything. Not one single thing you cannot achieve having decided that you want to. Once that is you’ve given yourself permission to do so!

You are the author & the architect of your life. The life you dream about, the one you want, the one you deserve. If you’re not happy with your lot, feel as though life is passing you by or are maybe paralyzed by inaction brought about by the fear of what others think about you then it really is time to start living your life, in your own way & on your own terms. It’s time to start living by design and stop living by default as a result of operating on autopilot & simply just letting it happen to you.

I say again there isn’t anything that’s impossible for you to achieve when you set your mind to it but you have to start by believing that you can. No matter how wild or improbable your dreams are. The bigger the dream, the bigger the plans you need to make for sure but in doing so the more you will succeed. Be happy & celebrate how far you’ve come already but remember you can always go further if you choose because life in itself really doesn’t have any limits except those you impose upon it and therefore by default yourself.

If our old friend fear should raise it’s head as it surely will when you’re faced with stepping outside your comfort zone learn to trust your instincts but more importantly yourself and ask what’s the worst that could happen if I take this leap of faith? In all honesty it would be that you remain exactly where you are now except for learning what doesn’t work in your quest to get to where you want to be and in my book that’s a massive plus because it’s one less thing  to worry about. Even if you aren’t successful in your aspirations initially bear in mind that if you keep coming back to the same starting point then it’s more than likely that you’re on the right track and you just need to figure out which turning to take to reach your destination.

Break out of that bubble

Take the opportunity in fact any and every opportunity to learn what works for you regardless of whenever and however it arises after all a day without learning is a waste of a day. Remember that it doesn’t matter how you get to where you want to be, only that you do. Over, under, around, through, slowly, quickly? It really doesn’t matter, don’t focus on the how to but on the are doing scenarios.

Our dreams and goals remain exactly that until such a time as our thoughts are surpassed by consistent, determined and positive action because as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow if you do’t go after what you want you will never get it no matter how much you dream.

Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of assuming that if you simply want something enough it will happen. Far from it. You have to do the groundwork and lay the solid foundations upon which to build your dreams and goals. In short you have to…go out and make things happen. For instance you may dream about winning the lottery but you definitely won’t win it if you don’t buy a ticket. You have to be in it to win it…right? Likewise when you get into your car if you simply turn the ignition & then sit back and wait for it complete the journey from A to B without you doing anything further will it happen?

Of course not and life…your life is exactly the same!

Determine what you want out of life and then set about getting it. Decide what is is that you need to do to make it happen, form a plan and follow it but be realistic and accept that things won’t always go as you want them to, you will get sidetracked and you will more than likely make wrong decisions..note I deliberately didn’t say mistake because we’ve already established that there is no such thing…and then having given yourself the permission to create a life which is the realty of your dreams, stop holding things up live it and…



Don’t Follow The Crowd

Dont follow the crowd POST‘’I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions’’
Stephen Covey

I spent far too many years trying to ‘’fit in’’ be ‘’one of the crowd’’. Don’t get me wrong I was never involved with what my Dad would’ve called a ‘’bad lot’’

Quite the opposite I had, indeed still do an amazing bunch of close friends who have always been both a constant in my life and incredibly supportive of me no matter the circumstances. Although on occasion I made that incredibly difficult but I digress. The point being I never felt under any pressure from my peers to do anything I didn’t want. I quite literally became as Stephen Covey so succinctly puts it ‘’ a product of my own circumstances’’.

During my formative years I ‘’learned’’ very early on an innate need to please others….I became the self-deprecating class clown, the one who would always say yes when she wanted to say no. The one who was always first to volunteer to go that extra mile regardless if I had the time to do it. The one who agreed to go on holiday to Spain when she really, really wanted to go to India.

You get the picture?

In my case I began at a very early age to follow the paths that others had laid out for themselves with me in mind purely because I didn’t have the nerve or the ability at the time to even think about suggesting that I may want to do something different especially if it didn’t include them.

In short my problem was that I was petrified that others would think less of me, not like me or even worse not love me for who I really was. Which was invariably different to what they thought.

Everyone’s reasons for finding themselves in situations like this are both very personal and wildly different but the result as far as ourselves is concerned is that we lose sight of who we really are and what we really want.

If we’re fortunate we ‘’wake up and smell the coffee’’ before too much damage is done.

Me? It took me until I was turned 50…. To have ‘’a midlife crisis’’. For that read standing up for myself purely by becoming brave enough to decline the ‘’offers, plans and suggestions’’ of others IF I DIDN’T WANT to be involved.

These days I KNOW BETTER so…….your mission should you choose to accept it as you journey through this life of yours would be…..

Always be your own person

Our life is ours alone, our responsibility. Follow the path of your own choosing. Remember however that a sometimes unexpected turn can inspire us to achieve amazing things….we should all learn to ‘’expect the unexpected’’ and embrace it when it happens.

Whatever you do though don’t make the mistake of trying to do it all alone. Rather welcome others to join you along the way….ask them if want them to but whatever you do, do it on your own terms. Whilst having the support & company of those who are important to us can be a good thing they may on occasion try and dissuade you from your chosen goal…..usually with the best of intention but sometimes for their own ulterior motive.

Don’t be afraid (indeed be prepared) to make difficult decisions if that’s what it takes to get you where you need to be and/or to do the right thing but whilst it’s nice to take the credit where it’s due it can also be counterbalanced at times by having to take your fair share of the blame if things don’t go as planned. Which they invariably will but that’s ok because……None of us is perfect!

Use the power of choice to get you where you want to be. Whilst that may not always be what others want or even like – it’s important to always remember that it’s what you want out of life that counts.

As long as you are coming from a place of kindness, compassion and love and you’re not deliberately setting out to hurt or upset anyone then you can leave the responsibility for the reactions of others firmly where they need to be…….WITH THEM!

Stay strong and have the courage of your convictions. We all of us have more mental strength than we believe…even in the most trying of circumstances…or give ourselves credit for when things get tough. Then watch yourself blossom as you come ever closer to achieving what it is you want. Your confidence and self-esteem will start to soar as you truly become your authentic self.

Someone who is comfortable in their own skin and secure with the decisions they make….someone who is always true to themselves.

Remember as you go forward in life …..YOUR LIFE!

You’re responsible for YOU

You don’t exist to impress the world or anyone in it. You exist to live the life you want in ways that serve to MAKE YOU HAPPY!

Which is as it should

Be mindful about and wary of being pulled down a path that is of someone else’s making. If you’re not comfortable with it make your own detour.

Don’t ever feel the need to excuse, apologise or justify your choices because there is no shame….ONLY PRIDE in achieving what you want in life, in your own way and on your own terms. PERIOD! 

To sum it up….it took me far too long to realise that the only thing I am truly responsible for is ME.

These days I’m very much my own person, one secure enough to understand that the opinions of others are theirs to deal with and what they think of the choices I make in MY LIFE are none of my business.

I now KNOW that Dr Seuss was spot on when he famously said…..

‘’Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind’’

If I’d understood that as a youngster life would have certainly been very different. Do I regret anything? I honestly don’t believe I do because everything that’s gone before has made me the person that I am today which is stronger, wiser, and happier and for the first time ever I’m truly……

Thanks for reading…whatever you do today…be true to yourself!