Tag Archives: self discovery

8 Things I Wish My Father Had Told Me!

As you journey through this amazing life you will experience amazing highs, devastating lows & everything in between, on every conceivable level.

This is both natural & normal

It’s part of who you are destined to become on your journey along the circular road of life but as you do so make sure you live mindfully in each moment because once it has passed that’s it, it’s gone, forever

The past has only the power over us which we choose to give it

Remember life is no than a story made up of an untold myriad of these moments which, are no sooner here than they are gone, never to be able to be relived except in memory, you owe it to the person you will become to be able to remember each one in such a way that you recall it making your heart sing with joy…for you, as are we all, were born to be a joyful soul.

Make each & everyone count as if it were your last, because? One day it will be

Everyone we meet is a teacher

You will meet people from all walks and stations of life. Some rich. Some poor. Some educated. Others illiterate. You will come to know businessmen and cleaners, doctors and warehousemen, lawyers and sales assistants, rich men, poor men, beggars and (sadly) thieves.

Yet through these wonderfully diverse, unique souls you will come to know…yourself.

You won’t realize it for the longest of times but each & every soul whose path you cross or indeed who cross yours will come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and without exception they will do so because they have something to teach you & often about yourself

There will be times you rail against this because it will be so much easier (and safer) to remain where you will not be challenged either by yourself or others…inside & behind the very skillfully created facade of your comfort zone.

Whenever you feel the need to retreat to that place of safety always remember that in everything, when we live, truly live through it, then we grow because growth is always on the other side of fear

The path of least resistance is not always the easiest route

Regardless of who you meet along life’s highway, should you ever have to choose between being kind, or right? Be kind and in that way, you will be right every time.

There are some you will meet who will treat you with scorn and derision, they will frown upon you & most certainly they will look down on you. Treat them well for they are living a reality about which you know nothing. Treat them as you would treat yourself & should you ever find yourself mirroring their behavior and find yourself looking down on them as they, once did you? Let it be only to lift them higher, for the path of least resistance is not always the most obvious of answers

Always look for the lesson

For every person, you meet or situation you find yourself in, be sure to look for the lesson, always look for the lesson because it is there

To miss it will surely cost you dearly, whereas to see it will take you ever closer to where you are meant to be and the sooner you get there, then the more time you will have at your disposal to do the amazing things you will otherwise come to do in the autumn of your life instead of the spring. When things go wrong as they surely will, always try and remind yourself that we are not defined by what happens to us, but how we deal with it.

The power to control your life is yours alone

If you are tempted to give in or give up when life gets hard and it will get hard, think of all the untold number of people whose lives may never be touched by the message you must share if you give away the power that is rightfully yours

Always be true to yourself, learn to live your authentic truth with both purpose and passion, in your own way and on your own terms. Others will expect you to dance to their tune as they try to turn your mind to the way they think you should live the life that is yours, not theirs, to live

There will be times you do not feel strong enough to resist the pull of their manipulation and there will for sure be times that you come to doubt the very reason for your existence as you as you come to fear being exposed for what others think you are: an imposter, a fraud – EXCEPT of course you aren’t!

At times like this remember above all else that

The opinions of others are simply that – Opinions!

Whoever and whatever you are in this life, YOUR life, it’s enough!

Should others think otherwise that’s fine but remember that their opinions are always just that on both counts. They are opinions (not facts) and they are theirs, which means they are neither your business or your problem.

Acknowledge them if you must but leave them where they belong, in the minds of those who are so busy trying to live your life for you that they have forgotten they have a life of their own to live!

Gratitude is the key

As each day ends, be grateful for the time you have had and look to tomorrow with a renewed sense of optimism & the promise of fresh hope because no matter how you may feel at the time? There is always, always hope

Be grateful for the dawn of each day and mindful of the fact that on this day you are the youngest you will ever be and in return commit to taking the persistent positive action you need to enable you to find the courage to be who really are and live the life of the person you were meant to be before the world told you who you should become

Believe in yourself

Understand that self-care and self-love are necessary acts compassion and kindness both to and for yourself and regardless of what anyone thinks (including perhaps yourself) they are far from selfish. Without fail validate and honour yourself daily. Accept that you were born to be imperfectly perfect and as such treat yourself as you would both treat others and have them treat you

No matter what and regardless of anything know this. The person you see in the mirror today is the sum of everything that has ever happened to you

The good. The bad. The indifferent

The person you have become along the way is the person you were meant to be for now but remember that everything is temporary and should you choose going forward to change anything then that’s also ok because yesterday, today and tomorrow…

Whoever and whatever you are in this life from the day you arrive on this planet until the day you are no more – YOU ARE ENOUGH!

 

Sue Curr is a Writer, Speaker and Empowerment Coach specializing in mental health awareness, addiction and recovery and regularly shares her own personal journey in order that others will find the strength they need to develop the courage to be who they really are

 

5 Ways to Harness the Power of Gratitude

Sue Curr Motivational Speaker & Empowerment Coach

Gratitude Can Be Severely Underrated

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has for many been popular for years and is becoming widely accepted by increasing numbers of people who have witnessed firsthand the beneficial changes the act of being grateful has brought into their lives. Indeed, long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and even a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are programmed to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. In order for gratitude to meet its full healing potential it needs to become more than just a word we pay lip service to. We have to learn a new way of looking at things and begin to think differently in order to create the shift needed in our mindset to facilitate the long-lasting and sustainable change it takes to establish it not only as a new habit but a way of life and that can take time.

That’s why actively practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life, everything; the good, the bad & the indifferent as both the opportunities & blessings that they truly are.

However, it’s important to remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world without a shadow of a doubt but when we learn to focus on the gifts of life, we gain an often previously unfelt sense of well-being because gratitude in and of itself helps to restore balance and gives us hope.

Sue Curr Motivational Speaker Coach Author

What’s on your list?

For me true wealth lies in life’s intangibles and on a daily basis if we choose to see them there are many things to be grateful for: the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, waves crashing on the shoreline, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, the unbridled laughter of children, our health, butterflies………………

 5 Ways to Start You On the Road to Practicing Gratitude

  • Keep a gratitude journal and establish a routine where you spend just 5 minutes of every single day (for me bedtime is the ideal time) and write down as many things you can for which you are grateful AND why. It doesn’t matter what or why. It doesn’t have to be anything other than something – anything – which has/does cause you to feel grateful in some way…there are no limits & trust me when I say that in ‘giving voice’ to your gratitude in this way you will very quickly come to realize just how much you truly have to be grateful for
  • Make a gratitude collage; paste, copy, stick, draw again it doesn’t matter how you do it, just that you give it a try. How amazing would it be whenever you feel sad, upset or miserable say to be able to glance at a visual reminder of all that you have to be grateful for. Think about it you glance over & in one spot you instantly see images of your kids, better half, a sunrise, next/last year’s holiday destination maybe even a picture of yourself before & after a life altering experience (losing 100lb in weight for example) ANYTHING for which you’re grateful. How would that make you feel, how powerful would that be in lifting your mood?
  • Practice gratitude ACTIVELY at every opportunity. When we make a conscious effort to be thankful by showing others that we appreciate them on a daily basis the world around us responds in kind. The most obvious example of this would simply be the act of showing your appreciation by actually saying thank you be that verbally, by text, a nice card or even sending a small gift as a token for something that others have done and not even necessarily for you.
  • Instigate a gratitude challenge. When you or those around you start complaining about something challenge yourself or them to find the hidden positive, blessing if you will no matter the situation. It’s not always easy but it is possible, remember it’s a simple law of physics that for every negative there is an equal and opposite reaction. Given time and practice you’ll be amazed at how better you start to feel.
  • Take time and be mindful of how being grateful impacts positively on your life. Notice how your attitude and that of those around you change for the better. Concentrate on living fully in the present and notice how deeply grateful you are becoming for even the most mundane of things which have previously gone unnoticed and then celebrate the new improved reality which will begin to unfold around you.

When we make a conscious choice, because like everything it is a choice, to make practicing gratitude a way of living an inner shift begins to occur and you may be delighted to discover how content, realigned, more focused & fulfilled you begin to feel and which has the most profound of effects in every area of our lives be that home, personal, relationships & careers and that sense of fulfillment my friends is:

 GRATITUDE AT WORK!

To find out more about making long-lasting, sustainable positive changes in your life I invite you to take the first step & connect with me to claim your FREE Strategic Discovery Call

Not for you? That’s great but should you know of someone who would benefit by reaching their full potential please feel free to pass the invite along.

‘Empowering You To Have The Courage To Be Who You Really Are”!                                    suecurr.com 

I can be reached via: Email – suecurr@suecurr.com  

It All Starts With You

It All POST

”Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives”

Louise Hay

 Unless we believe in, respect & love ourselves how can we expect anyone else to?

When we better understand this we become ever closer to finding our authentic self but for some the road to self discovery and the realisation that not only are we worthy of our place in this world but that we do matter can at times be a long and difficult one with a price which very often we aren’t prepared to pay.

The mere thought of the consequences of our actions along the way being enough to stop us dead in our tracks, such is the fear of upsetting or even losing those we love for fear of being deemed selfish!

So what on earth causes us to lose sight of the fact that we actually DO matter?

The majority of us I’m fairly certain will have been told countless times by those close to  us; parents, spouses, friends and so on things like…….. ”Stop being so selfish” or ”The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know”. In all honesty I’m also equally certain that these things and others like them will have been said largely in a genuine effort to make us realise that there were other people to consider at that time and let’s face it……..no matter what the situation there is always a bigger picture to consider.

However subconsciously (and moreover if we’re the sort who actually do care and give a damn) when we’re hearing this type of thing historically and consistently on whatever level and regardless of either intent or source then slowly but surely the seeds of wanting to ”people please” begin to take root. We start to think before we do or say things for fear of upsetting others or God forbid being deemed selfish. We start to second guess the reactions of others if we say something we ”think” might come across as unfair.We slowly but surely and almost certainly (initially anyway) subconsciously start to convince ourselves that ”it doesn’t matter” if our opinions aren’t taken on board, if we leave what we want/need to do till another day, which almost never comes.

……..IF? IF? IF? ………..

At this point although we are completely unaware of it we have placed ourselves very firmly at the back of the metaphorical queue in our minds when it comes to our own needs, feelings or emotions because we have come to believe that they and we don’t matter when it comes down to not only looking after but actually validating ourselves in any way.

Quite simply our need to not only people please but be validated by others  becomes the yardstick by which we measure our own self-worth.

We mistakenly start to think that by being all things to all men we will be loved and appreciated all the more for our efforts. In reality what tends to happen is the exact opposite because the more we give, the more we do then the more others will not only allow us to but will come to expect from us. When on occasion we can’t for whatever reason we find ourselves unwittingly deemed lacking in some way. In essence it’s a very short step to the polar opposite of nothing we do is ever enough!

The crushing fear of being labelled ” not good enough” or ”selfish beyond belief” robs us of our sense of well-being, of our self-esteem of our sense of self-worth and of our confidence to stand up for ourself. Something inside us becomes broken and before we know it we are completely lost.

Piecing together the jigsaw that is our broken self takes courage

However without doubt it should always start with loving ourselves because we are worth it!

The power to change be it the world, our circumstances, our future or ourselves starts with us. It all starts with us because we are the architects of our own lives. We must become mindful of the fact that we are the only ones who are responsible for us if we want to see any positive changes in ways which will not only alter how we see ourselves but how others do too.

In order for any of this to happen we more often than not have to unlearn everything which we have previously come to know. We have to accept that we are a work in progress and that it is not only ok it is more than good enough. Having to reclaim that which we have inadvertently lost……the absolute right to be who or what we want to be…….is a big ask of anyone, let alone those of us who over time have seen the very fabric of who we really are eroded away to the point that we’re actually unsure who we were in the first place!

Having discounted our needs, wants, feelings and emotions for so long it has become a foreign concept to us to not only validate ourselves but to need and expect those previously unwilling or unable, to do so as well. It is at this point we have to face perhaps for the first time the fear that others will and do choose not to come along our journey with us from hereon in and we need to accept the fact that in making this choice they are saying more about themselves than they ever did about us. As upsetting as we may find this, when we remain resolute (as we should) in our intentions to validate ourselves going forward, then our journey for a while at least becomes harder.

BUT!!!

In doing what we have to do in order to get to where we want to be, we slowly, but will nevertheless come to love ourselves for who we are, we will become comfortable in our own skin and be grateful to be so.

Up to this point we have lost sight of many things, but the courage we have gained in facing up to the challenges and adversity which we have along the way and the resultant rise in our self-esteem as we rediscover our authentic self has come to help us really understand that self-love and self-care are truly very different from being selfish.

The sudden revelation that our thoughts are the most powerful ability we possess and that we not only have the power to be who and what we want to be but it be liberating in the extreme serves to further increase the sense of well-being and peace which settles over us.

On the most basic of levels then, when we accept that we cannot (nor is it practical) to be everything to everyone all the time because in being human we are not perfect then we have started to turn our negative self-talk around.

Having done this we can finally afford ourselves the love and respect which we most definitely deserve but previously we hadn’t.

In being accepting of our shortcomings and imperfections. In caring for, respecting and loving ourselves then we become increasingly touched  how much and how quickly others follow suit. We become surprised that people really do love us just the way we are.

We would do well to remember that……How things start. How they finish. Is our responsibility

When we believe in, respect and love ourselves then others will too.

So if you validate just one thing today let it be yourself because after all

It All Starts With You!